Skip to main content

Soccer

Cursed (or blessed?) with a short attention span, I find it surprising that my love for soccer has remained strong for 25 years. I’ve tried Zumba, volleyball, kickboxing, yoga, softball, jazzercise, golf, kickball, and many more, and without fail, after about 3 weeks, I’m bored with the activity (rarely the people). Ready for something new, a different type of excitement.

But soccer? Oh, I love soccer. I love indoor. I especially love playing outdoor. It’s amazing. Running for miles up and down the field. Making that perfect pass. Stealing the ball from an opponent. During and after these games, my mind and soul are at peace and filled with such delight.

Over the years, it’s become a bit “unlucky” that soccer does not love me. Knotted calves that won’t go away for weeks. Planters fasciitis. Reconstructed ACL. Sprained ankles. Achilles tendinitis. Torn meniscus. Ankles that click when I walk. And now a possible torn MCL.

Oh soccer, why do you do this to me? I tell myself it won’t happen again. I’ll stay in shape, lose the weight, strengthen the legs and abs, run during the week. But then life happens. I go on vacation. I travel to visit family, work meetings/schedule changes, whatever, and that focus on health and strength is put on hold. Just for the day. Well, that day turns into two, then a week or so, and next thing I know, something hurts. A lot.

Then the overused mantra fills the head, “Don’t overdo it. It’s better to miss a few games, a few weeks, then be out the season.” So, I rest (oh, rest, how I despise you). And I do light exercises. Because every injury that occurs, whether big or small, shares a common goal. To get back on the field, to play again. And I know I will do whatever it takes to be able to tie on my cleats and play. It’s that simple.

Even with the same end goal, the questions still nag at the back of the mind. All these injuries…is it a sign to stop playing soccer or a sign to take better care of myself? Is it the universe’s way of telling me that I’m old, that perhaps I should switch to a non-contact sport, that maybe I should focus on finishing that book that refuses to write itself? Is it strictly another hurdle that I must overcome to continue playing the sport I love?

For now, I’m going with the last option. Hurdles, I can handle.

Day 3:
I’m angry. So angry. At my knee. At my life. At my friends who don’t understand. Yes, I’m hurt, but I still want to play. Should I? Probably not. But do I want to? Yes. Yes. I want to play. I want to move. I want to be out on that field, playing with my friends, moving. But there’s a part of me that tells me not to go, not to try. If I show up, I’ll play. If I play, who knows what will happen. Rest. Heal. Don’t force it.

But I’m still angry.

Angry is much better than sad. Yesterday, I was sad. “Woe is Me” was the theme of the day. Only fixed by the announcement that my SIL’s twins are both boys! Oh that put me in a fabulous mood. So happy. So joyful. Twin boys. Ooo wee, my bro and SIL will have their hands full. The little ones are going to be so rambunctious and sneaky. I can’t wait until they start outsmarting T&R. Mwhahaha. And when they start crawling then talking, then developing a personality. Or what about when they start liking girls. Or driving. Oh man. So many years to look forward to, watching them grow and learn. I can’t wait to see which traits of T and R each twin will embrace.

Back to today: no more pity party, and I’ve advanced to angry. If I’m following the five stages of grief, anger is second and depression is fourth. However, I admit that I was in denial on Sunday (I’ll be playing again by Friday, watch me), then bargaining (okay, let’s make this nothing but a tweak, and I promise I’ll start running again and go to the gym twice a week. I’ll stay in shape, I promise), then the anger today, depression yesterday. Haven’t reached acceptance yet. That will most likely hit after I play on Friday and my knee holds out. Two more days and I’ll know whether to start the entire cycle over or reach acceptance. Two more days.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Christmas Letter

Hello Beautiful, Amazing, Wonderful People! 

As 2018 comes to a close, I’m so thankful to those who’ve supported me over the last year. 2018 was a huge transition year for me. I entered it uncertain what the year would bring, where I would travel, who I would meet, even where I would be sleeping. Twelve months later, I’ve moved back to the city of my teen years, started a business, and am filled with a sense of rightness and jubilation.
Many, many thanks to those who let me crash at their place when my life was filled with uncertainty. To those who sat down with me to talk out my business plan or brainstorm ideas. To the remarkable people who frequently inquired about my progress and to those who have been praying for me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Today, we took my Aunt and Uncle to tour Galveston. On the drive home, my mom, Aunt, and I sang Christmas carols at the top of our lungs. Before you picture beautiful harmony, let me explain that on a scale of 1 makes dogs howl and 10 i…

Italia...mio amore

Walked to the bus stop for 20 minutes in the POORING rain, the first time we have been rained on....then rode the bus to Dublin for 3 hours, freeyzng, and all three having to pee...what a fun ride, let me tell you.

Rome....Italy...Colloseum...Thomas and Kendra doing their own thing...Roman Forum...Fontana di Trevi...Palayyo Montecitorro...TempleßAdrigano...Patheon...Vatican (met a youth pastor from MN, and a Priest from NJ)...Tombs of the Popes...Caste Sant Angelo...etc. etc. etc.

Lots of old buildings that i took pictures of and will most likely have no idea what they are when my parents ask. The one thing i cannot get over is how well built and detailed these buildings are and how LONG it must have taken. I mean, buildings todaz last two years before thez start falling apart. These have lasted centuries and are being destroyed bz air-noise pollution-modern days doing. Booo

Meghs and I went to an Irish Pub with Karaoke....i know...i know...but we werent ready to leave Ireland! Gotta …

Celebrating D in San Francisco!

D invited all of us to San Francisco to celebrate her upcoming marriage (11 more days!). There were 9 of us and we had a blast. Playing tourist downtown, wine tour, visiting Muir Woods, and just enjoying each other in laughter and fun times. I’ll take you through our events:

Do you like sea lions? Ever been to Pier 39? You should! The sea lions were so much fun to watch. It’s like they were fighting for king of the mountain, or in this case, king of the floating dock. Two would fight, one in the water, one on the dock, then the one in the water would swim around, and jump onto the dock from a different direction, and knock off the original one. Then a third one would join in on the fun. Sometimes, a sleeping sea lion would be stepped on and would wake up growling. I assume that’s where the lion part of their name originated? The best part were the three that were sunning themselves, lifting their faces and chests to the sky. It looked exactly like Cobra pose in yoga. Oblivious to…