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And so a new Chapter begins...

24 October 2009 (Saturday)

I’m sitting on the plane (San Diego to Dallas) thinking about my upcoming trip to Europe. I just finished my contract with HAL and am flying to Houston. I’ll arrive at 10pm. My flight leaves for London on Monday at noon. Oooo weee I don’t have much time to pack. Amber is kindly driving in from CS to pick me up at the airport. We will be staying at Diana’s this evening and then spending ALL Sunday shopping, shopping and more shopping. I am going to be spending a TON of money. I think I’m okay with that. Okay, I’m not, but I’m trying to come to terms with spending $$$$$ on this Roughing It Euro Trip. It’s going to be worth it, right? It’s only money. I can always earn more. When will I ever have another opportunity (aka TIME) such as this?

My main want/desire/need from this trip is to figure out what to do in 2010. I don’t need to know for sure, for sure, but I want some direction, an idea or opportunity that leads to something.

Ideas right now:

Go back to school – (1) coordinate travel and conferences for a company (2) Personal Lifestylst for a company (3) Business (owning and operating)
Continue with ships – (1) librarian (NZ, Aust, or Asia) (2) Crew Purser (3) Shore Ex (4) Deck Officer (ha)

Find a land job – No idea where to even start – what do I want to do, what do I want to learn? I’ve always wanted to learn how to take a car apart and put it back together – maybe I can become a mechanic. Ooo, or I could take massage classes (I’d be starting with a huge handicap though). Hmm, what about a personal assistant? Ahh, not shooting high enough. Okay, lets think Recreation - home owners association, sports facilities, YMCA, etc. Parks – Ranger (meh), tour guide (sigh); Tourism – resort (perhapppps), amusement park (no thanks), Bar on a beach (HECK YEAH!) But shite, I’d have to learn how to bartend. Man! I have no marketable skills. I’m friendly, a people person, always happy and smiling (for the most part) ---what’s a girl like that to do with her life?

Write a book! That was an Aha! Moment. Did you feel it with me? Tell me I wasn’t alone here. Okay, Okay, Okay. So, one – it’s not as easy as I may think, two – this idea has been around for a long time, three – who knows if I have something interesting to write about, four – I could go on and on and on. It was just an idea, relax.

From reading this page - what I’ve realized about myself: I don’t want to work for someone, I want time off to travel, attend weddings, learn a new trade, etc, I don’t need to make a fantastical salary, just enough to cover my next trip, and I have absolutely no arrows pointing me in any direction.

Am I okay with that? You bet your cute little tush* I am.

Wow – I started typing to write about Europe and next thing I know, I have a page full of nothing. Although, I guess I can’t talk about Europe until I get to Europe. Ahhh! I am super excited! My stomach is in knots, my chest feels tight, my ears are ringing (I guess it could be b/c the plane is increasing in altitude, mwhahah).

Oh, boy, as soon as I typed that, the plane started rocking. Can a plane rock? I don’t think so either…jerking? I feel like I’m being jerked. I hate flying. I truly do. Every time I get on a plane, I say a little prayer (forever, forever) that the plane lands safely, and every time the plane takes off and starts going up and up and up, I think this is it, the engines (all four of them) are going to stop working and the plane is going to plummet back down on the runway. Mom, Dad, - I love you guys. You both rock (there’s that damn word again). Seriously though – e.v.e.r.y. time I fly. I fly quite often. In the past fourteen months, I’ve flown to 12 different places. And it’s never a straight flight. There’s always a layover. So you figure I’ve been on over 20 flights. That’s 20 times I take off, and 20 times I land and wonder if the wheels came out properly. Although true be told, it’s not really the wheels that get me, it’s the whole balance issue. If you land a little to the side, I see the plane beginning to tilt and then falling over onto its wing (of course, it’s the wing opposite of the side that I’m on), and then sliding down the runway. Notice how all my fears deal with runways. OH! I went on a float plane in Alaska and was calm the ENTIRE time. I LOVED landing on water. I didn’t feel anxiety or that we were going to crash and burn…ahh…maybe that’s it. Maybe I have this hidden (not so hidden anymore) fear of burning. Hmm. Interesting. Interesting. Okay. Seriously, Steph, you’re blabbering. But like I said, we started to jerk and I had to distract myself. Distraction successful.

*Side note – saying tush reminded me of the varying ways to say different body parts in America compared to UK. Miss you guys!

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